In the aftermath of much sickness in this house of mine and a mind that is still not functioning at normal speeds, I’m sharing this post from my previous blog. It gives me hope of warmer days (eventually) and the peace of resting in God’s hand…so flashback to March of 2007 with me…
Yesterday was all sunshine and eighty degree breezes, windows all opened wide and fans whirring, a million trips in and out of the house barefoot, my hands in potting soil and happy petunias, a chapter of Anne Lamott’s Blue Shoe on the front porch steps in the seven-thirty dusky warmth after the dishes were done and another load of laundry was spinning…a bright day has its own energy that gets me project-busy around the house and eager to play tag with the boys…it makes me linger on the porch long after the moon is up and I think of chasing fireflies, long time gone adventures in the woods with my sister and cousins, and all the springtime/summer exploring that has yet to be done by my own kids.
Today I woke to rain cannon-balling onto the roof…a dim light glowing behind the closed blinds. When I got out of bed and opened the curtains and blinds, the rain was slowly falling – drops perching all shiny and jewel-y on the new blossoms of the dogwood right outside of the boys’ bedroom window…I opened the window a bit over the kitchen sink and was met with a fresh whoosh of cool air – we’ve exchanged the 80’s for the 50’s overnight. I made a cup of coffee and stood at the door to watch the rain come down – I think we were due for a day like this, and I don’t mind it. A rainy day brings a sense of quiet – things go just a bit more slowly and the house feels a bit cozier. It almost requires a hot cup of something and a book – an extra long story time with the kids or a few hours to watch Little Women and bake something yummy. It is extra permission to dream. A placid rainy day is to the world like a long soak in the tub is to me.
Two days, two energies. Our Father sends both, because He knows that we need both. The basics of earth need both…the animals and the trees and the flowers require sunshine and rain…I have to remember, as the days march on (and sometimes it feels they march right over me) that it’s the same with circumstances. We’ll have a burst of blessings and then, sometimes, immediately following the blessing is a blow from out of nowhere – a heart hurts, an argument bounces out of control, things just don’t feel right. It’s so easy to ask God why when this happens – why me? Did I do something wrong? Was I ungrateful for the good things you gave me? There’s usually not an answer as to why…I’ve come to realize that the good and the bad come equally to everyone, and it’s because we need the good and the bad – equally. If we want to grow- as people, as mothers, as friends, as writers – we need the sunshine and the rain. Sometimes we need a thunderstorm, a hurricane, or a drought.
God is there in the cloudburst and in the sunburn and in the perfect butterfly-edged springtime…He knows what you need and He longs to walk with you through it. Sometimes He just wants to show you that it’s possible to skip through the rain and splash in the puddles – and how good it is to dance with Him beneath the cloudy sky.