I adore you. I can’t wait to spend time in your warm breezes, beneath your sweet blue skies. I love driving around town and seeing bursts of purple, pink, and yellow flowers — beautiful reminders that the earth is being renewed, that the season of planting is here…I love seeing God’s artistry unfolding right before my eyes. You are one of my most cherished friends, Spring. Except.
Except that you require shorter sleeves, skirts that swing like bells across bare knees, and bright, simple dresses that make my winter wardrobe seem heavy and unfortunate.
Usually this is just another wonderful attribute of your season….but this year is different. This year, I don’t feel ready for the light-weight fabrics and free-forms.
You see, Spring, I am tired. I go to bed tired and I wake up tired. I would rather wear my wonderfully worn-in soft grey pajama pants and a comfy sweatshirt than…well, anything else. It makes me sad to change into my ‘office’ clothes every morning. I have so many caffeine stops during the day that I might as well give up my day job to go work on a coffee-bean farm. But guess what. I can only blame myself for this. Because I have not adjusted to my work/church/baseball practice/on-line school schedule in any conscious way. I’ve just continued to run from here to there, and guess what I’ve been putting into my system (along with the massive amounts of caffeine)? Whatever is easiest, which in my world translates into lots of carbs and sugars. Which means
yummy junk food that does nothing for me in the long run. I’ve been down this road before (and it’s, um, common sense). When I eat well, I feel well. (High nutrients = high energy.) I don’t want to wear your pretty, pretty clothes, Spring, because I don’t feel healthy and it’s way easier to hibernate in fleece than in a sundress.
So to get myself into Spring-Gear, I need a fresh start. Good foods, sunshine, and exercise that doesn’t involve just turning another page in my notebook and highlighting a few more lines. And I can’t help but feel like kick-starting this routine with a few days of a serious water-drinking, sugar-cutting, caffeine-go-bye-bye lifestyle. If I flush away the old, then there is room for the new good-for-me stuff I need.
I kind of feel like I need a mental detox, too. Have you ever had so much going on in your mind that you just want to yell “HEY. QUIET IN THERE!!”? That’s me right now. I feel like I’m carrying a bazillion balloons around, holding onto all of the strings as hard as I can, trying to maneuver around sharp edges and branches, not taking my eyes off of any of the balloons at any time…and I’d really like to just hand the whole bunch over to Someone strong, big, and capable…to sit contentedly at His feet and watch them dance bright against the sky.
And because Jesus came as Emmanuel, God with us, I can release my fragile dreams, desires, and needs into His hands…because He came to be my Savior, to take the weight of winter-sorrow from my heart, I can empty myself out before Him and know that He will fill me back up with His life.
Remember this part of Jesus’ entrance into our world?
After Mary gave birth to Jesus in that stable by the inn, shepherds came to worship Him. They’d been given the message of all messages by a host of heavenly angels: “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger…Glory to God in the heavenly heights,
Peace to all men and women on earth who please him!” (Luke 2)
And Mary, holding her child, kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. (Luke 2:20)
It has stayed with me, that line…Mary held those words — a new confirmation of all she’d been told — dear within herself. And with that kind of hope planted and growing within her, I suspect that there was little room for fear.
I need freshly-turned soil in my heart to be planted with the hope of my Messiah…I want to hold His name dear, to let His Living Water nurture my soul until it blossoms with the fruit of patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, joy, peace, and most of all…love.
Spring, I want to reflect my heart of glad tidings of great joy in every aspect of my life…so I’m taking my cues from you and going to the Master Planter. I need a season of renewal…and He is the source of abundant life. May we both continue to grow and grow towards His gentle Son.